Since being in Santiago over ten years ago the metro systems have expanded and now spread over the entire city, lending itself to quite some confusion of overlapping lines and when to get on and off, transfer to a bus to reach your destination, etc. So Dad was kind and took me for a trip to the mall Alto Las Condes from where we are in Santiago Centro, right downtown. Very nice of him to take a few hours just to orient me to the metro and bus system, and to spend some time together after not seeing each other for a few months.
We get on the bus headed back from the mall, and one of the more ingenious forms of Chilean artistry takes over. The chilean payaso (clown) on the bus. He gets on at the beginning of the ride and proceeds to, in quite friendly fashion, haze the heck out of the passengers. You try not to giggle in hopes he's not going to pick on you next, but there's no hope. I stepped onto the bus and the three elderly ladies behind me promptly get introduced as "Miss Mundo 1943, 1944 and 1922". On walks a wizzened old lady aided by her cane, "y Miss Universo del arca de Noe, mejor que se siente para disfrutar de su ultimo viaje en micro!" (and Miss Universe from Noah's ark, she'd better sit down to enjoy her last trip on a bus!) - as he literally drags a kid from a chair and plonks the lady down.
He cracks jokes and pokes at people and keeps you giggling for about 20 blocks, gets his tips and jumps on the next bus until he's made his living for the day. For some odd reason I try to not giggle thinking maybe I can avoid tipping the dude at the end of the ride, (odd reaction) but there's no luck there - I'm crying laughing within two blocks. Another girl says that she has no money and he's like "que alguien te preste! dude, borrow some!"
The next female that comes onboard, "Oiga, el chofer esta casado, desgraciada,vengase para atras pa' disfrutar del show! Ya po' Vamos a chocar y va a ser tu culpa!" (Lady, the driver's married, :insert insult:, we're gonna crash and it's gonna be your fault, quit hitting on him, get to the back of the bus...)
He finishes his show with a, "No se preocupe de malgastar su dinero, no lo voy a gastar en alcohol o en drogas porque las drogas son malas y si te tomas drogas vas a terminar como payaso en una micro...." to general gales of laughter on the bus. (Uh, don't worry about misspending your money, I won't spend it on drugs or alcohol because drugs are bad for you and if you take drugs you're going to end up as a clown on a bus...wait...)
Where would you be if you couldn't poke fun at yourself? He got a tip from us :-) I think we were too scared not to.
No comments:
Post a Comment